Thursday, July 31, 2008

New Business Idea, thanks to Exxon

Based on Exxon's latest record profits, and my desire to someday be independently wealthy so that I can just take my puppy to the beach every day instead of sitting in a fabric enclosed cube, I have decided that for my latest business idea, I want to start an energy company.

Here is my plan... a lease on offshore property is just $3/acre with a lease area covering 9 square miles. So, 9 square miles is about 5,760 acres and at $3 per acre my yearly cost is just $17,280/year for 9 square miles. For what it's worth, my father pays about that much in property taxes alone on his barely 2 acres of land here in Monmouth County so talk about a great deal on 5,760 acres!

I can't be sure how much it costs for a drilling rig and a boat, or to build a windmill.... but maybe I'll just build a man made island out there and build a resort on it, or maybe I'll just float a few of these McMansions that are being foreclosed on out there and rent them for $2,000/wk, which is half of what a beach house down in Kitty Hawk costs for a week, and I'll be all set. Some other ideas include offering scuba classes, or swimming lessons, or sub-lease my land for fishing, sink a few old train cars out there even to have better breeding grounds. The possibilities seem endless with 5,760 acre of land and $17K/year is incredibly cheap for land in New Jersey.... which reminds me... aren't those federal waters, why does NJ *THINK* they own that land? Hrm.

Anyhow, in between the McMansions, or just somewhere else on my 9 sq mile parcel, I'll do a little of that energy production since it seems so profitable for Exxon. If Exxon can make $1,485.55 a second as an energy company, then I'd be happy with making even 1/1000th of that per second with my energy company, which is still $128,351.52/day! Hell, I'll use barely an acre for my energy company and aim to make 1/10,000th and STILL make 12,835.15/day, my land will be paid off in 2 days... in fact.. I'll only operate my energy company on Thanksgiving Day and Christmas Day while everyone else is closed and still profit! This is genius, I can't seem to find a flaw in my plan.....

If any readers are interested in becoming partners in my new energy business, shoot me an email, I'm about as serious as a Soap Opera.

Of course, if you are "one of them" who wants to "save the ocean"... maybe you and your friends should get together and lease the land yourselves? At least draw some increased demand which draws prices up, which means more income from leases, which means less taxes for me... or just more money available for politicians to waste.

Whatever... I shouldn't be giving away my business ideas for free.... new business here I come!

1 comment:

ambrosiajr said...

This is a very funny post Jimmy...thanks.

Its just obscene what these companies are making off the backs of us little people. Even Chevron, yes Chevron, posted over $80billion in PROFIT last year. I wonder how much that gallon of gas would come down if we took the half trillion dollars that these companies made as PROFIT and took that off the price of gas.

I know, don't get your skivvies all in enterprise and what not, but geezz...that's a lot of money to be making when you're crying the blues about the cost of a barrel of oil.