Monday, August 1, 2011

Oh, Nuts!



The Short Story: It’s NOT A Tumor!!!!!!!; and fortunately, or not, for you, I’m going to make it and continue on blogging away.

The Long Story:

Some of my readers won’t believe this and will think I’m NUTS, but being a duly elected public servant isn’t an easy job. Sometimes, but not very often, I even cut other elected public servants some slack because I know the difficulty at this level, and imagine it only gets harder as one travels up the ladder. Even just working here at very bottom of the totem pole as a lowly county committeeman, I’ve spent countless hours walking the streets of my neighborhood, and other neighborhoods where the county committee people aren’t getting the job done or there is no county committee person, to rally the voters, and then I make the phone calls, pass on important information about the candidates, plan some events and at the same time try to gain some additional knowledge of local issues and pass that information between the candidates and the people in my neighborhood, maybe I take my goofy little position a little too seriously at times. I’ve even tried to volunteer anywhere and everywhere and take advantage of being young, in-shape and full of energy, or piss and vinegar as the collective “they” say, to help out anywhere I can, no offense, but most of my fellow committee seem to be a big on the old side and a little less likely to be out walking the streets.

And along my travels, I’ve encountered all sorts of NUTS. There is a NUT a district over who keeps telling me about animal mistreatment by the government, my friend Art met this woman outside of Frank Pallone’s office once and got her on video. There is another NUT a district over in the other direction who tells me that the fluoride in the water is part of communist plot to take over the young mind; I drink water right from the tap and so far, I haven’t started preaching socialism, or communism…. Yet, maybe I need another drink! There is the NUT who sells hot-dogs from a cart down the street from me, and still has Brian Unger signs all over his truck and cart, I have to admit, I haven't actually spoke to this man yet, maybe he's not a NUT. There is another NUT a few towns over who seems to think everyone from State Senators to Sheriff to the Lt. Gov are frauds. And then there is yet another NUT who thinks his PBA members DESERVE to retire after 20 short years of writing traffic tickets and that the old system where his members contributed next to nothing was fair and sustainable... if the PBA members only knew that I have MUCH better benefits than they do working in the private sector, they might quit and go get real jobs. (And hopefully this PBA NUT doesn’t go calling Lee over at Asw. Hanlin’s office , and every other person in his Rolodex, again, complaining I called him a NUT now…)

So how do I know that my benefits are better than the local PBA NUT’s benefits? Well, I had to take advantage of my benefits, finally.

So take this message as another public service, provided by your friendly neighborhood committeeman, passed along from Doctor Steve (www.doctorsteve.com ).

Check your stupid nuts for lumps, quit smoking, get off your asses and get some exercise and we'll see you soon for the next edition of 'Weird Medicine”!

About a month and a half ago, I was enjoying a weekend of working in my garden. Yes, when I’m not out knocking on strange NUT’S doors, I have some peaceful and relaxing hobbies, like gardening. And like a real human, I’m terribly allergic to poison ivy. So about a month or more ago now, I got my yearly (I don’t learn) poison ivy rash, went to the doc, got a steroid shot (I’d leave out the part about me being TERRIFIED of needles and thus passing out in the doc’s office, but my GF keeps me honest and will tell everyone this part of the story so I’ll get it out of the way) and some pills, and started getting better; I even went door knocking with County Surrogate Rosemarie Peters in Middletown the next weekend feeling mostly better. Then Monday came, and I was MISERABLE again with that poison ivy rash; door knocking in 90+ degree weather with a poison ivy rash might not have been a good idea afterall. I kept taking the meds but wasn’t improving much, I dealt with the rash another week and I went back to the doc the following Friday after finishing the anti-poison-ivy meds I was given, but this doctor basically told me “you’ve been on meds long enough, toughen up kid. Take better showers and don’t touch the dog”. Yeah, thanks. Not much help, grin and bear it. So I took the NUT’s advise and left the office without any real help.

I spent the weekend even more MISERABLE from poison ivy, I survived until Monday, went to work even, but by Monday night, I’d had just about enough. No sleep Monday into Tuesday and finally caved and went back to a better doctor that Tuesday night. Another shot (I didn’t pass out this time… I asked the GF to come in with me just in case) and some more prescription drugs later and I was on my way to being better before I got back home.

So three trips to the doc in a two or two and half week span. My private sector health insurance seems to have covered everything, an employer sponsored FSA picks up the co-pays on the visits and Rxs. My employer also pays for my (single) healthcare coverage. If I haven’t said it enough, my boss as a person is a great guy, and the company I work for is a great organization. Glad I'm not a Mad-At-The-Boss(es) PBA member working for that terrible organization that is the State Government!

But my story about NUTS doesn’t end with a poison ivy rash. When I last left this blog, I had a real pain in the balls; and I don’t mean that PBA NUT JoeT, I mean literally, a pain in the balls. I should have probably talked to one of the three doctors I had seen about the poison ivy about the literal pain in my balls, but I didn’t think much of it, figured if I ignore ignore ignore, the problem would go away. Except the problem wasn’t going away and ,religious folks skip ahead a few sentences because I think this might be a sin, my girlfriend soon noticed the lump on my testicle and says “hey, what the hell is this?”.

There was no turning back at that point and I had to fess up to the lump, and the pain I’d been having, and ignoring, for a few months now. A fourth trip confirmed, indeed, I had a lump. A fifth trip once again confirmed the same and cost me some blood. A sixth trip to the right doctor’s office and then finally last week, a final trip with an ultra-sound and the waiting game.

So the good news after my little story here is that the preliminary results are in and I’ll survive, which is good for my friends and supporters here and bad for those of you who thought I gave up blogging because JoeT is mad at me. The report seems to be "just a cyst and some fluid", the doc will call me with more information soon, but the nurse says this is "common". I noted to the nurse I spoke to that the friends I have who are my age don’t seem to be talking about lumps on their balls on Facebook, Google+ or whatever so maybe it’s more common in their office than mine. I suspect and hope that since the doctor hasn't called me back, it should mean that I have at least another couple of days to live; I sure hope so, I don’t want to miss the next End of the World scenario tomorrow, on August 2nd , when the US defaults on its debt payments as some other NUTS have been telling me and the world as we know it goes all MadMax….

So in closing, I’ll hopefully finish getting all better and/or the doc will have nothing but good news for me when he finally calls. I’ll hopefully be back to knocking on doors and talking to my neighbors, and the few NUTS in the neighborhood, this weekend. In the meantime, as part of my public service to you, let me once again pass along My Pal, Good Ol’ Doctor Steve’s words of wisdom: Check your stupid nuts for lumps, quit smoking, get off your asses and get some exercise and we'll see you soon for the next edition of 'Weird Medicine”!

Be well my friends, and thanks to the few of you who did contact me to see where I disappeared to. I leave you with this little video about Public Unions.

"Benefits Are The Real Cost of Doing Business With Government Unions"

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